Brother-in-Laws, Sister-in-Laws & Maids In The House

The famous authentic Hadith from Sahih Bukhari: Volume 7: Kitabun Nikah: Hadith 159 explains as follows:

Uqbah ibn Aamir RA quotes Rasulullah SAW as saying:

"Beware of entering upon women."

A man from the Ansar said:

"O Messenger of Allah! What about Al-Hamu, or the wife's In-Law (the brother of her husband or his nephew, etc.)?"

The Prophet SAW replied:

"The In-Law of the wife is death itself."

The above Hadith is also reported in Sahih Muslim, Kitabus-Salam: Chapter 8, Hadith 5400.
Imam Nawawi RA commented on the above narration and said:

"Al-Layth ibn Sa'd holds that the "the In-Law" refers to a relative of the husband other than his father and sons e.g. his brother, nephew, and cousin, etc. with whom marriage would be permissible for her, if she were to be divorced or widowed."

As for the Prophet SAW saying:

"The In-Law is death"

- it means that you are supposed to be very cautious of him as evil is most expected from him. This is because the In-Law, contrary to an absolute stranger, can easily approach the lady and violate her privacy, without people blaming him for doing so.

The In-Law here stands for husband's relatives other than his fathers and sons. As for the husband's father and sons, they are considered Muhrim to his wife and they are allowed to be alone with her. They don't fall under the category of "the In-Law is death".

To recap, those who are described of death are:

- the husband's brother
- the cousin(s)
- the uncle(s); and
- all those who are not Muhrim for the wife.

Today's age of ignorance and lack of Piety sees that people usually take it easy and find no problem with the husband's brother being in private with the wife. This is "death" itself as the In-Law is most worthy of the prohibition.

The Prophet Muhammad SAW particularly warned women concerning Khalwat - i.e. being alone with Male-In-Laws since people are quite negligent in this regard, sometimes resulting in disastrous consequences. It is obvious that a relative has easier access than a stranger to a woman's quarters, something which no one would question him. The same is true of the wife's Non-Muhrim relatives, and it is prohibited for any of them to be in Khalwat with her.

The Prophet SAW teaches us that there are inherent dangers and even destruction in such privacy: Religion is destroyed if they commit sin; the wife is ruined if her husband divorces her out of jealousy; and social relationships are torn apart if relatives become suspicious of each other.

The danger lies not merely in the possibility of sexual temptation. It is even greater in relation to the possibility gossip about what is private and personal between the husband and wife by those who cannot keep secrets to themselves and relish talking about others; such talk has ruined many marriages and destroyed many homes.

So as conclusion - the brother and sister-in-law - whether either or both - must not live in the same house.

With regards to helpers/maids they are paid and not considered slaves, so the same provision of Hijab applies. In short no Non-Muhrim man and woman should be alone together in the house. A tertib should be arranged so that the helper/maid does her job mainly when there is no man in her vicinity. It is best when eating together - the wife serves her husband, even if the helper/maid cooked the food. It is better that no verbal communication occur between helper/maid and you in the house, and everything is through the medium of the wife. Hijab laws maintain strictly. If the helper/maid decides to go against the Shari'ah - then she ought to be replaced with another person.

Hayaa

The Evidence of True Imaan and The Highest Decree of Women

HADITH

The Prophet Muhammad SAW has said:

"Whatever contains vulgarity is made ugly by it, and whatever contains modesty is made beautiful by it.''

"Modesty and being at a loss for words are two components of true faith, while vulgarity and long-windedness are two components of hypocrisy."

"Modesty is of faith, and faith is in Paradise. Vulgarity is of rudeness, and rudeness is in Hell."


WHAT IS HAYAA?

Hayaa may be interpreted as “morality", “modesty” or “shyness.” It is a natural trait which is part of human nature. It serves to restrain a person from all indecent and immoral acts. In fact, in the terminology of the Shari'ah it is used in a much wider sense. It represents a feeling that is intolerant of all sin and makes a person react with disgust when confronted with the prospect of sinning.

However, if one continuously defies the dictates of Hayaa and indulges in wrongful actions, this natural quality gradually withers away and eventually may even be totally lost. This is the point where a human being stoops to the level that the Qur’an describes in the words:

"they are nothing but like animals, nay they are worse!" (Surah 7: Ayat 179)

The fundamental importance of Hayaa in Islam can be further gauged from the following Ahadith:

Zaid bin Talha RA reports that Rasulullah SAW said:

"Every creed has a distinguishing quality, and the distinctive quality of Islam is modesty." (Ibn Majah)

Rasulullah SAW has also declared Hayaa as a branch of Imaan. In yet another Hadith it is reported that Rasulullah SAW said:

"Hayaa is a part of Imaan and Imaan leads to Jannah. But obscenity stems from the hardness of the heart and the hardness of the heart leads to Hell." (Tirmidhi)

Furthermore, Rasulullah SAW has warned:

"Hayaa and Imaan exist together. When one of them is removed, the other is also removed." (Baihaqi)

Hayaa is thus a praised habit. It prevents its owner from doing something wrong. This is among the reasons as to why the Prophet Muhammad SAW said:

"Shyness does not bring anything except good."

As previously mentioned, the Prophet SAW has explained that Hayaa is a component of Imaan.

Abu Hurairah RA narrated that the Prophet Muhammad SAW said:

"Imaan consists of more than sixty branches or parts, and Hayaa is a part of faith."

One story describes the Prophet SAW passing by a man who was criticising someone of his shyness. Upon observing this, the Prophet SAW told the man to leave him because Hayaa is part of Imaan.

Gathering from all the aforementioned Ahadith so far, we can thus gather that Hayaa is related with Akhlaq (character), and Hayaa signifies moral uprightness and virtuous behaviour. Expanding this further, the classical scholar, Ibn Qayyim RA stated that Hayaa is a part of life; and depending on how much Hayaa the heart possesses, that Hayaa will reflect how much moral character an individual has.


THE TWO MAIN FORMS OF HAYAA

Hayaa is practised between a servant and his Rabb (Lord), when the servant shows shyness for his Rabb, especially in committing any form of act attributed to disobedience.
Also, Hayaa may be evident between a person and other people.


HAYAA WITH ALLAH SWT

The Hayaa between a servant and his/her Lord has been explained in one Hadith whereby the Prophet Muhammad SAW said:

"Be shy of Allah as you should truly be shy."

The Sahabah RA responded:

"We are shy (of Allah), O Prophet of Allah (SAW)."

The Prophet SAW then explained:

"It is much more than that. He who is truly shy of Allah, let him preserve his head and what it perceives, let him preserve his stomach and what it desires, let him remember death and afflictions, and he who desires the Hereafter abandons the adornments of this world. He who performs all these, is the one who is shy of Allah as he should be."

In another Hadith, the Prophet SAW is narrated to have said:

"He who is shy of Allah, Allah Ta'ala is also shy of him."

This refers to the quality of Allah, that Allah SWT is shy for that slave of His who has endeavoured in all avenues whole-heartedly to obtain Allah's Pleasure, and will not be reluctant to grant him/her Forgiveness, to accept his/her supplications and a sublime reward for his/her obedience.

Thus the shyness between Allah and his servant, is the shyness of honour, generosity and sublimity, because Allah Almighty is shy to refuse his/her servant when he/she raises his/her hands in Du'a (supplication).

A person who is shy of Allah, abandons what is forbidden in every situation whether in the presence or absence of people.

This Hayaa is the shyness of worship and the Fear of Allah Almighty, and it can only be acquired by knowing Allah, His Greatness, His Nearness to His servants and His Knowledge of what is open and being kept hidden and secret.

This form of Hayaa is of the highest form of not only Imaan, but also of Ihsaan. In a famous Hadith narrated by Saiyidina Umar ibn Al Khattab RA, the Prophet Muhammad SAW said:

"Ihsaan is to worship Allah as though you are seeing Him, and while you see Him not, yet truly He sees you."


HAYAA BETWEEN FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS

As for the shyness between an individual and other people, it is that which prevents that person from committing a wrong, and thus hates people witnessing his/her feeling of humiliation and guilt.

Also, one who is shy of people, must refrain from disgraceful habits, wicked deeds and sayings. He/she does not swear, nor slander or backbite, nor publicise his/her sins - let them be in a boastful manner or in the form of regret.

A true Muslim's shyness of Allah protects him/her from his/her wickedness internally, and his/her shyness of people protects from his/her wickedness externally. Hence the person becomes both internally and externally righteous, in secret as well as in public affairs, and this is how Hayaa becomes a part of true faith - true Imaan.


THE LOWLY RANK OF HAVING NO HAYAA

Without having Hayaa, there remains nothing that would prevent a person from having a wicked character in doing evil, and that person becomes as if he/she has no Imaan.

This is infact stated in a Hadith narrated by Abu Mas'ud Al Ansaari RA whereby the Prophet SAW said:

"Among the words people obtained from the First Prophecy are: 'If you feel no shame, then (you will not be hesitant to) do as you wish'."

Abdullah ibn Abbas RA said as per advice from Rasulullah SAW that:

"Hayaa and Imaan are equally in rank and merit, and that if Hayaa is lost then Imaan usually follows."

The above indicates that - that persopn who loses Hayaa, loses that which prevents him/her from doing evil deeds, followed by not fearing the Haraam or the guilt.


LACK OF HAYAA BRINGS ABOUT THE WRATH OF ALLAH SWT

Thus the emphasis that Islam has laid on this vitally important natural trait is self-evident. The reason for such great emphasis is that - when Hayaa is lost, the door is flung open for the departure of all values attributed to Imaan. Immorality then becomes the norm. Infact, Immorality is one of the main social problems we are experiencing today. Let alone social problems, abandoning Hayaa is the recipe to draw down the wrath of Allah SWT.

Abdullah bin Abbas RA reports that Rasulullah SAW said:

"When zina (fornication) and the indulgence in interest become rife in a community, then they have drawn down the wrath of Allah Ta’ala upon themselves." (Hakim)

When Saiyidina Abu Bakr As-Siddiq RA was appointed as the Khalifah (leader of Muslims), he delivered a sermon wherein he said:

"...and immorality does not spread in a nation but that Allah Ta'ala engulfs them with calamities." (Hayatus Sahabah)

Thus the diagnosis of the problems that are engulfing us has already been made by Rasulullah SAW. To protect ourselves and the Ummah, we will have to once again adopt Hayaa with great urgency and importance.

In short, we will have to adopt the lifestyle of the Qur’an and the Sunnah in its true spirit in order to be successful in this world and the Hereafter.


THE ALARMING STATE OF NEGLIGENCE IN HAYAA NOWADAYS

We live in a time where Hayaa has disappeared in the majority of people, a lot of abominable and disgusting ways and actions have materialised in the society - especially amongst women.
Among the disappearing signs of Hayaa in women today are the disgraceful displaying of women almost half naked, and not covering their adornment and modesty, by wearing perfume and thereby showing no shame in mixing freely with men, shaking hands in a proud and undignified manner.

Men and women without shame - listen and play music, watch shameful, disgusting movies in front of their wives and children without any hint of dignity. This in turn excites and arouses sexual desires, demolishes moral codes of conduct and paves the way for detestable and rebellious behaviour and deeds.

Where is the Hayaa in those people who abandon their children to the lost and lustful life of the streets by allowing them to mix with strangers of wicked and insubordinate character?
Where is the Hayaa, the shyness in the smoker who exhales smoke from his mouth into the faces of those sitting in his company, thereby spreading the stench of bad breathe and harmful odours?

Because the above is widely spread, such practices are considered normal, and far from regretted in this day and age. A true Muslim will be hesitant to smoke in front of anyone, just as he/she is hesitant to smoke in front of Rasulullah SAW.

It is the absence of Hayaa that causes people to be reduced to the lowest of lows, confirming to what the Prophet SAW said:

"If you feel no shame, then (you will not be hesitant to) do as you wish."

Allah SWT states in the Qur'an, in Surah Al-Mulk:

"Verily! Those who fear their Rabb unseen - they do not see Him, nor His Punishment in the Hereafter, theirs will be Forgiveness and a great Reward. " (Surah Al-Mulk: Ayat 12)

"And whether you keep your talk secret or disclose it, verily, He is the All-Knower of what is in the breasts of men." (Surah Al-Mulk: Ayat 13)

"Should He not know what He Created? And He is the Most Kind and Courteous to His slaves, All Aware of everything." (Surah Al-Mulk: Ayat 14)

Let us know that the praised Hayaa is that which prevents its owner from sinful morals and generates him/her to do admirable actions and deeds.


THE "HAYAA" WHICH IS CONDEMNED

As for the Hayaa which prevents its owner from acquiring what he/she needs in matters regarding Religion and this Worldly Life, is the Hayaa that is completely and utterly condemned.
A true Believer is not shy in saying a word of truth, enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong.

A true Believer is also not shy to ask about matters pertaining to his/her Religion.
We must remember the Hayaa which encourages the person in doing a good deed and saying the truth, is in reality a disappointment to Shaytaan.

We ask Allah Almighty for forgiveness in anything we may have done that transgressed our duty. To make our hearts firm on His Religion and make our lives end with the True faith. To help and guide us and to give us the ability to learn and understand His True Religion. To apply it throughout our daily lives, and to preach it to others, and grant us His Mercy in this world as well as in the Hereafter.

Important Rules Pertaining To The Hijab & Social Behaviour Of Muslim Women

FIQH: AHLUS SUNNAH WAL JAMA'AH - TRADITIONAL SHAFI'I SCHOOL OF JURISPRUDENCE


Rulings Pertaining To Looking at Members of the Opposite Sex

It is Unlawful for a man to look at a woman who is not his wife or who is not one of his unmarriageable kin i.e. Muhrim. It is important to understand that in this Shari'i ruling - there is no difference between the face and hands or some other part of a woman if it is uncovered - the cover of which fulfills the injunction of Hijab in Islam. Not just mere tight or seethrough clothing which is Unlawful.


Her Voice

It is important to be aware that the Aurat of a woman generally does not include her voice. However, her voice will only become permissible to listen to under the condition that there is no likelihood of temptation. Temptation here refers to anything that would result - gradually or immediately in sexual intercourse, or its usual preliminaries.


Her Face

Allah SWT mentions in the Holy Qur'an:

"Tell Believers to lower their gaze.'' (Surah 24: Ayat 30)

The majority of the Ulama of the Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jama'ah i.e. of the Shafi'i, Maliki and Hanbali schools of jurisprudence - define, as per injunctions from Qur'an and Hadith that it is Unlawful for women to leave the house with faces unveiled; and this rule is effective whether or not there is likelihood of temptation. Only the Hanafi School of Jurisprudence give such leeways to let the face leave uncovered when there is no likelihood of temptation.

However, when there is likelihood of temptation, all scholars of the Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jama'ah i.e. the Hanafi, Maliki, Shafi'i and Hanbali Schools of Jurisprudence - unanimously concur that leaving the house without the veil is Unlawful.

As previously mentioned, temptation means - anything that leads to sexual intercourse or its usual preliminaries. As for when there is real need - looking does not become Unlawful, under the conditions that temptation is unlikely.
There is major misunderstanding especially among modern teachers of Islam, as well as their students - that the Aurat of a woman is everything but her face and hands. This view has been misunderstood from the two injunctions pertaining to the Aurat of women:

(a) As for when she is outside the house, or in exposure to the sight of non-Muhrim men - it is her whole body, and she must be veiled.

(b) As for when she is standing in front of Allah for Solat, or other acts of Ibadah mandating the same - it is her whole body except her face and her hands.

It is ruling (b) that has been misunderstood to represent the injunction of physical Hijab for women as a whole - which is incorrect, whilst ruling (a) has been almost hidden to those who are unaware of Fardhu 'Ain Knowledge obligatory for adherents of the Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jama'ah.


Being In Her Company

Being alone with a woman who is not one's wife or unmarriageable kin is absolutely Unlawful.

As for within the relationship between husband and wife, a man may look at his wife, while the wife may look at her husband including each other's nakedness. However, it is offensive (Makruh) for either husband or wife to look at the other's genitals.

As for Muhrims, a man may look at his unmarriageable female relatives, while a woman may look at her Muhrim male relatives - thus viewing any part of the body that shows e.g. while they are working - except what is between the navel and knees.

As for a woman looking at a man other than her husband or Muhrim male relatives, it is absolutely Unlawful, just as a non-Muhrim man looking at her is Unlawful.

It is Unlawful for a woman to show any part of her body to an adolescent boy or a non-Muslim woman, unless the latter is her kinswoman, in which case it is permissible.


Touching

Whenever looking is Unlawful - so is touching. That is to say , whatever is Unlawful to look at, is also Unlawful to touch. Also by default, it must be remembered that any permissible looking that leads to temptation is Unlawful.

Ordinary people sometimes mistakenly assume that the Hanafi school's position that - touching a woman does not nullify one's ablution (Wudhu), means they permit men shaking hands with women who are not wives or unmarriageable relatives. This is wrong, and the correct rulling for this is that it is actually Unlawful. Neither the Hanafi school nor any other school of jurisprudence holds such acts to be permissible.


Doctors Treating Patience Of The Opposite Gender

With regards to doctors treating patients of the opposite gender, the Shari'ah has laid out clear injunctions on how to go about things.

Both - looking and touching are permissible for medicinal bloodletting, cupping, and medical treatment when there is real need. A Muslim woman needing medical attention must be treated by a Muslim woman doctor, or if there is none, then by a non-Muslim woman doctor. If there is none, then a male Muslim doctor may treat her, while if none of the above are available, then a male non-Muslim doctor. If the doctor is of the opposite sex, her husband or non-Muhrim male relative must be present. It is Obligatory to observe this order in selecting a doctor. The same rules apply to Muslim men with regard to having a doctor of the same gender and religion; whereby the same gender takes precedence over the same religion.

Necessary treatment of a woman's face or hands permits looking at either. As for other parts of the body, the criterion for permissibility is the severity of the need for treatment, meaning that there must be an ailment as severe as those permitting dry ablution (Tayammum), and if the part concerned is the genitals, the need must be even more acute, though it includes gynecological examinations for women with fertility problems, which are permissible.


When Looking Is Permissible

Looking at a woman is permissible for testimony in court, for commercial dealings with a marriageable man, or non-commercial dealings e.g. when he wishes to marry her, and so forth - such as obligatory learning (Fardhu 'Ain) or recommended learning, in which cases looking is permissible to the degree required. It is not permissible to exceed the degree required, as when looking at part of the face is sufficient, in which case looking at the rest of it is not permissible, as it exceeds the amount required.

Also it must be remembered that an Ustazah (female teacher) must be sought after when such teachers are available. There should also be no looking, when that is not necessary, and such teachings between a male teacher and a female student may take place between a curtain.


When Looking Is Recommended

The Sunnah when one wants to marry a woman is to look at her face and hands; as the face indicates her beauty, while the hands indicate the robustness of her body.

Imam Tirmidhi RA reports from Al-Mughira that when he got engaged to a woman, the Prophet Muhammad SAW said:

"Look at her, for it is likelier to last between you."

The above gives the meaning that love is likelier to last, and there will be much tenderness in the relationship before getting engaged to her, even if the woman does not give her permission to do so; because in such cases Allah's permission as the Lawgiver is already sufficient.

Such a male prospective groom is entitled to repeat looking at his possible match, as many times as he wishes - with the intention that he needs to make sure of how she looks, so he does not come to have regrets after getting married. She, in the same lines, is also entitled to do the same.

It must be emphasised here that the male may not look at other than her face and hands; and anything more than is sinful.

In such cases where he is unable to go and see her, he may send a reliable woman to go and see her for him, as such a woman would be likely to notice more than he, and she may describe her to him. This rule is an exceptional rule against the general Unlawfulness of describing a woman's physique to a man who is non-Muhrim i.e. marriageable to him.

Another post shall InshaAllah be sent later to discuss on the virtue of Hayaa (modesty) - the highest decree of women.

A Brief Tazkirah On Modesty

The Companions of the Prophet Muhammad SAW narrate:


Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RA says:

"The Prophet of Allah (SAW) was more bashful than a virgin concealed in her veil. Whenever he would dislike something it would be perceived from his face." (Ibn Majah)



Anas bin Malik RA says that the Holy Prophet SAW said:

"Verily, there is a (special) morality of every religion. And the (special) morality of Islam is modesty." (Ibn Majah)

Abdullah ibn Mas'ud reports that the Holy Prophet SAW said:

"Verily, amongst the words people have obtained from the sayings of the past Prophets (AS) is that when you are immodest (unashamed) then do whatever you desire." (Ibn Majah)

Abu Hurairah narrates that the Holy Prophet SAW said:

"Modesty is part of Imaan and Imaan is in Paradise, and obscenity is part of hard-heartiness, (and that) is in Hell." (Ahmad, Tirmidhi)

Abdullah ibn Umar RA says that Allah's Messenger (SAW) came upon a man of Ansar who was advising his brother regarding modesty (not to over-do it) .

Allah's Messenger SAW said:

"Leave him alone, for modesty is part of Imaan." (Bukhari, Muslim)

It is narrated that the Holy Prophet SAW said:

"Be modest to Allah as you should be."

They (the Sahabah RA) said:

"O, Prophet of Allah (SAW), by the grace of Allah we are modest to Him as we should be."

The Prophet SAW replied:

"It is not that. Being modest to Allah as one should be is that one should guard his head and what it contains, his belly and what it consists of and that he should continuously remember death and the decaying (of the bones),and whosoever desires the Hereafter should abandon the adornment of the World and should prefer the Hereafter over the World. Whoever does this, he is modest to Allah as he should be." (Tirmidhi)

Modesty - The Sign of Imaan

Abu Saeed Al-Khudri RA narrates:

"The Prophet of Allah (SAW) was more bashful than a virgin concealed in her veil. Whenever he would dislike something it would be perceived from his face." (Ibn Majah)


Anas bin Malik RA says that the Holy Prophet SAW said:

"Verily, there is a (special) morality of every religion. And the (special) morality of Islam is modesty." (Ibn Majah)


Abdullah ibn Mas'ud RA reports that the Holy Prophet SAW said:

"Verily, amongst the words people have obtained from the sayings of the past prophets is that when you are immodest (unashamed) then (you will) do whatever you desire." (Ibn Majah)


Abu Hurairah RA narrates that the Holy Prophet SAW said:

"Modesty is part of Imaan, and Imaan is in Paradise; and obscenity is part of hard-heartedness, and hard-heartedness is in Hell." (Ahmad & Tirmidhi)


Abdullah ibn Umar RA says that Allah's Messenger (SAW) came upon a man of the Ansar who was advising his brother regarding modesty (not to over do it) .

Allah's Messenger (SAW) said:

"Leave him alone, for modesty is part of Imaan." (Bukhari & Muslim)


6. It is narrated that the Holy Prophet SAW said:

"Be modest to Allah as you should be."

They (the Sahabah RA) said:

"O' Prophet of Allah , by the grace of Allah we are modest to Him as we should be."

The Prophet (SAW) said:

"It is not that. Being modest to Allah as one should be - is that one should guard his head and what it contains, his belly and what it consists of, and that he should continuously remember death and the decaying (of the bones), and whosoever desires the Hereafter should abandon the adornment of the world and should prefer the Hereafter over the world. Whoever does this, he is modest to Allah as he should be." (Tirmidhi)