Brother-in-Laws, Sister-in-Laws & Maids In The House

The famous authentic Hadith from Sahih Bukhari: Volume 7: Kitabun Nikah: Hadith 159 explains as follows:

Uqbah ibn Aamir RA quotes Rasulullah SAW as saying:

"Beware of entering upon women."

A man from the Ansar said:

"O Messenger of Allah! What about Al-Hamu, or the wife's In-Law (the brother of her husband or his nephew, etc.)?"

The Prophet SAW replied:

"The In-Law of the wife is death itself."

The above Hadith is also reported in Sahih Muslim, Kitabus-Salam: Chapter 8, Hadith 5400.
Imam Nawawi RA commented on the above narration and said:

"Al-Layth ibn Sa'd holds that the "the In-Law" refers to a relative of the husband other than his father and sons e.g. his brother, nephew, and cousin, etc. with whom marriage would be permissible for her, if she were to be divorced or widowed."

As for the Prophet SAW saying:

"The In-Law is death"

- it means that you are supposed to be very cautious of him as evil is most expected from him. This is because the In-Law, contrary to an absolute stranger, can easily approach the lady and violate her privacy, without people blaming him for doing so.

The In-Law here stands for husband's relatives other than his fathers and sons. As for the husband's father and sons, they are considered Muhrim to his wife and they are allowed to be alone with her. They don't fall under the category of "the In-Law is death".

To recap, those who are described of death are:

- the husband's brother
- the cousin(s)
- the uncle(s); and
- all those who are not Muhrim for the wife.

Today's age of ignorance and lack of Piety sees that people usually take it easy and find no problem with the husband's brother being in private with the wife. This is "death" itself as the In-Law is most worthy of the prohibition.

The Prophet Muhammad SAW particularly warned women concerning Khalwat - i.e. being alone with Male-In-Laws since people are quite negligent in this regard, sometimes resulting in disastrous consequences. It is obvious that a relative has easier access than a stranger to a woman's quarters, something which no one would question him. The same is true of the wife's Non-Muhrim relatives, and it is prohibited for any of them to be in Khalwat with her.

The Prophet SAW teaches us that there are inherent dangers and even destruction in such privacy: Religion is destroyed if they commit sin; the wife is ruined if her husband divorces her out of jealousy; and social relationships are torn apart if relatives become suspicious of each other.

The danger lies not merely in the possibility of sexual temptation. It is even greater in relation to the possibility gossip about what is private and personal between the husband and wife by those who cannot keep secrets to themselves and relish talking about others; such talk has ruined many marriages and destroyed many homes.

So as conclusion - the brother and sister-in-law - whether either or both - must not live in the same house.

With regards to helpers/maids they are paid and not considered slaves, so the same provision of Hijab applies. In short no Non-Muhrim man and woman should be alone together in the house. A tertib should be arranged so that the helper/maid does her job mainly when there is no man in her vicinity. It is best when eating together - the wife serves her husband, even if the helper/maid cooked the food. It is better that no verbal communication occur between helper/maid and you in the house, and everything is through the medium of the wife. Hijab laws maintain strictly. If the helper/maid decides to go against the Shari'ah - then she ought to be replaced with another person.

Giving A Child An Angel's Name

Brother Ruvian Ruslan contacted me this morning to ask of the permissibility of naming his soon-to-be child with the name of the Angel of Allah - "Mikail" - the Mala'ikah responsible for the delivery of provisions i.e. Rizq to this World. This post is our exact response to the issue, with minor syntax and language modifications - merging the advice and knowledge from the Ulama of the Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jama'ah, as well as providing a discussion on the principles of making decisions in Islam for the purpose of Taqwa and a drive for Piety.

May this be beneficial. Ameen.

Abu Khadijah Damansari


Salams Ruvian

Wa'alaikumussalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

JazakallahuKhaira for taking the time to send your enquiry. May Allah SWT make it easy for your wife and yourself in the preparation for the welcoming of your child into this world. We hope that preparations are made for the child's Aqiqah and Tahneek with the Ulama. It is recommended that your wife increases her indulgence in Qur'anic recital, Nawafil Solat, Zikr and Du'a. May Allah SWT make the child pious and of grand benefit to the Muslim Ummat. Ameen.

With regards to giving a child the name - Mikail - or any other Angel of Allah. The situation may be summarised like this:


Evidence From Hadith

Many Ulama express that it is Makruh i.e. offensive and undesirable to name a child with the name of an Angel.

The Hadith of reference is as follows:

سموا بأسماء الأنبياء و لا تسموا بأسماء الملائكة

Which means:

"Give a name (to your child) with the names of the Prophets (AS) and do not give a name from the names of the Angels."

The above Hadith is narrated by Imam Bukhari RA in his kitab: "At-Tarikh Al-Kabir"; as well as by Imam Baihaqi RA in his kitab: "Shu'abal Imaan".

Nevertheless, the authenticity of the above Hadith is questioned by some Ulama i.e. some scholars say that the above hadith is Dha'if. However, we must understand that the injunction of "Dha'if" (i.e . Weak) is not the same as "Maudu'" (i.e. Fabricated/False). Thus the above Hadith has some bearing and influence to the way we choose the name of our children. The Ulama say - one weak hadith is better than 1000 independent opinions of scholars.

It should ne noted that the grand Imam - Imam Malik bin Anas RA explained the ruling that it is Makruh to give the child the name -Jibril. This ruling is also held by other grand Ulama such as Ibn Qayyim RA as explained in "Tuhfatul Maudud" and Ibn Uthaymeen RA in "Al-Manahi Al-Lafdhiyyah".

On the other hand, the Ulama from the Shafi'i School and Hanbali School of Jurisprudence say that doing such as merely Permissible. This is per explanation of Imam Nawawi RA in his Al-Majmu' - Chapter 8: Page 436:

ذهبنا ومذهب الجمهور جواز التسمية باسماء الانبياء والملائكة صلوات الله وسلامه عليهم أجمعين ولم ينقل فيه خلاف الا عن عمر بن الخطاب رضى الله عنه أنه نهى عن التسمية بأسماء الانبياء وعن الحرد بن مسكن انه كره التسمية باسماء الملائكة وعن مالك كراهة التسمية بجبريل وياسين

Meaning to the effect:

"Our school and the schools of the reliable - are of the position that it is permissible to give a name (to a child) with the names of the Prophets (AS) and the Angels (AS), and there has not been any difference of opinion in this, except from (Saiyidina) Umar ibn Al-Khattab RA - in that he prohibited the giving of names of Prophets, and from Al-Harith ibn Miskin - that he hates giving a name (to a child) with the names of Angels, and from Malik (RA) - that it is offensive to give the names Jibril and Yaasiin."


A FINAL NOTE

My humble approach to this matter is that we should take into account of the opinion of ALL scholars of the Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jama'ah of Haqq and then practice what is best . Any parent would definitely want what is best for his/her child. In Dunia as well as Akhirah.

So let us find a solution systematically:

For example - in the Shafi'i School of Jurisprudence, it is Makruh to brush the teeth with Miswaak (sugi) while fasting, but in the Hanafi School of Jurisprudence, it is Recommended , especially before Solat. Hence because we are adherents of the Shafi'i School, and since the injunctions of both schools are almost opposite to each other, then we should abide by the Shafi''i School of Jurisprudence, and hence we should refrain from using the Miswaak whilst fasting.

On the other hand, in the Shafi'i School, Witr is Sunnat Mu'akkad but NOT Wajib, but in the Hanafi School, it is Wajib. Having known that Witr is the greatest Sunnat Solat after the five time daily prayer, and knowing that both schools ENCOURAGES the performance of Witr Solat, then hence - a Muslim should compel himself to perform Witr, and as such he will be fulfilling what is best in both Schools of Jurisprudence.

In the case of giving the name "Mikail" or any Angels' name on the other hand - we know that there is evidence that it is Permissible but not Virtuous, and there is evidence that it is Makruh and Detested. Hence by merging the views of both, we should choose the PRECAUTIONARY ROUTE OF PIETY and REFRAIN from selecting such a name, and opt for other names instead which has been CONFIRMED to be strongly recommended by Rasulullah SAW, his Sahabah RA and the Pious Precessors RA as well as the Ulama. Such names include: Muhammad, Abdulllah, Abdur-Rahman, the names of the Companions RA and other good Muslim names.

In Malaysia, the culture is to choose names which sound good / unique / "canggih" - whilst maintaining a good meaning. Although this is not the best way to go about things, it is certainly acceptable.

The name of a child is one that lasts forever. Even after the person has passed away. And in Islam, we know that the name of a child affects his/her character. So we should always go for what is best.

I hope I have answered your question sufficiently.

JazakallahuKhaira.

The Marriage of Aishah RA - Understanding Imperative

Salams

Okay, I received an enquiry from my beloved friend - Ahmad Suffian. I am answering in English so that this may be put here for the benefit of all Muslims internationally, who wants to read. Bismillah.


Basic Understanding Imperative

In this day and age of stupidity, laxity and lack of understanding of the systematic preservation of Islamic text, there are so-called people who claim to have proven that through research, the Prophet Muhammad SAW's wife - Saiyidatina Aishah RA was not aged nine (9) at the time of her marriage, but was actually - nineteen (19. The main "evidence" for this was that one of narrators (Rawis), due to weak memory - gave false statement.

With the intention of preserving and protecting the tenets of the traditionalist, ya'ni - the Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jamaah, we will explain clearly in this post. For the sake of brevity, we shall not dwelve into reproducing the narrations here, because this is not a post of displaying Hadith. This is a post to explain and ellaborate based on these authentic narrations, from the Ulama of Taqwa, the Ulama of Haq.

To begin with, we must know this fact:

Aishah RA was married at the age of six (6). The Ahadith pertaining to this are in Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim. All the narrators of these Ahadith are AUTHENTIC.


A Little About Aishah RA and Her Childhood Marriage

As a brief background, Aishah RA was known for her striking beauty and her formidable memory. She came under the loving care and attention of the Prophet SAW himself. As his (SAW's) wife and close companion, she acquired from the Prophet SAW - such knowledge and insight that no woman has ever acquired.

Aishah RA became the Prophet SAW's wife in Makkah when she was most likely in the tenth year of her life but her wedding did not take place until the second year after the Hijrah when she was about fourteen or fifteen years old. Before and after her wedding she maintained a natural jollity and innocence and did not seem at all overawed by the thought of being wedded to him (SAW) who was the Messenger of Allah SAW whom all his Companions RA, including her own mother and father, treated with such love and reverence as they gave to no one else.

About her wedding, Aishah RA herself related that shortly before she was to leave her parent's house, she slipped out into the courtyard to play with a passing friend:

"I was playing on a see-saw and my long streaming hair was dishevelled" - she said.

"They came and took me from my play and made me ready."

They dressed her in a wedding-dress made from fine red-striped cloth from Bahrain. Then her mother took her to the newly-built house where some women of the Ansar were waiting outside the door.

They greeted her with the words:

"For good and for happiness may all be well!"

Then, in the presence of the Prophet Muhammad SAW who was smiling, a bowl of milk was brought. The Prophet SAW drank from it himself and offered it to Aishah RA. She shyly declined it but when he insisted she did so and then offered the bowl to her sister Asma RA who was sitting beside her. Others also drank of it and that was as much as there was of the simple and solemn occasion of their wedding. There was no wedding feast.

Marriage to the Prophet Muhammad SAW did not change her playful ways. Her young friends came regularly to visit her in her own apartment.

Aishah RA said:

"I would be playing with my dolls with the girls who were my friends, and the Prophet (SAW) would come in and they would slip out of the house and he would go out after them and bring them back, for he was pleased for my sake to have them there."

Sometimes, the Prophet Muhammad SAW would say:

"Stay where you are"

- before they had time to leave, and the Prophet Muhammad SAW himself also join in their games.

Aishah RA said:

"One day, the Prophet (SAW) came in when I was playing with the dolls and he said:

"O Aishah, whatever game is this?"

"It is Solomon's horses," I said and he laughed."

Sometimes as the Prophet Muhammad SAW came in, he would screen himself with his cloak so as not to disturb Aishah RA and her friends.


Further Explaining The Evidence of Aishah's RA Age At Marriage Versus Common Western Ideology and Stupidity

So, to again recap, Aishah RA was six (6) years old when she was married to Nabi Muhammad SAW and was nine (9) years when the marriage was consummated.

The doubts about child abuse and paedophilia are merely the ideologies of the Kuffar missionaries and part of their efforts in dishonouring our beloved Nabi Muhammad SAW. The saddest thing is that some of our own Muslim "researchers" have fallen into this trap and searched for "evidence" to porport their claim. What a degradation, Na'udzubillah. AstaghfirullahulAdheem.

The thing is, the research of Islamic history and evidence from Seerah, Qur'an, and Hadith has already been done by the illustrious grand Imams, Muhaditheen and Mufasireen of the past. In analogy - there is no need to reinvent the wheel. The main disease here is lack of affirmation in the heart with regards to our Deen. The medicine for this is Da'wah, which will bring about Imaan, and then reliance, reverence and reference to our Pious Predecessors whose contributions we cannot repay.

One should not allow themselves to be indocrinated by such Kuffar whose primary goal is to poison the minds of people, thus creating an aversion to our beautiful and perfect religion of Islam.


A Taste of History in Brief

During the time of Nabi Muhammad SAW, it was perfectly normal for girls to get married at the age of puberty. We also find that it was a norm in all Semitic cultures from the Israelities to the Arabs and all nations in between.

According to some books of the Jews, it is even more preferable for a woman to be married when she has her first menstruation cycle. In another holy Jewish book, there are rules regarding sexual intercourse with girls who have not yet menstruated. Throughout history, puberty has always been a symbol of adulthood.

Marriage at the early years of puberty was acceptable in 7th century Arabia as it was the social norm in all Semitic cultures from the Israelites to the Arabs and all nations in between. According to "Ha Talmud Ha Bavli", which the Jews regard as their "Oral Torah", "Sanhedrin 76B" clearly states that it is preferable that a woman be married when she has her first menses, and in Ketuvot 6A there are rules regarding sexual intercourse with girls who have not yet menstruated, as mentioned above.

Now, in Chritianity, this is further collaborated when Jim West, ThD, a Baptist minister, observes the following tradition of the Israelites:

"The wife was to be taken from within the larger family circle (usually at the outset of puberty or around the age of thirteen) in order to maintain the purity of the family line."

Furthermore, who are we to complain anyway? Sinful, ignorant, arrogant Muslims? Do we know that there are no records of any objections to the marriage of the Prophet SAW to Aishah RA? Neither his (SAW's) contemporaries - friends or ENEMIES had ever criticised him (SAW) for this. It is extremely unfair for us to judge Nabi Muhamamd SAW by the standards set by the stupid people of today.


Defend and Protect Your Deen. Don't Be A Whimp!

So thus, we currently see the efforts of the Christian missionary activity focused primarily on derailing Islam now more than any other period in history. Thus, we witness numerous travesties and parodies coming from them in their attempts to twist, manipulate and totally abuse historical and etymological facts. These polemics range from a variety of the utterly hilarious to the outright abusive and cruel. One such dishonest and corrupt Christian missionary polemic has been focused to the allegation of the young marriage of Aishah RA with the Prophet Muhammad SAW only. The missionaries try to accuse the Prophet SAW of being a child molester, albeit in politically correct terms, due to the fact that Aishah RA was contracted at the age of six (6) years old and the marriage was consummated (Nikah) a few years after the marriage at nine (9) years old when she was in full puberty.

My brothers and sisters who are sincere:

The lapse of time between the Zawaj and Nikah of Aishah RA clearly shows that her parents were waiting for her to reach puberty before her marriage was consummated. If it were not for the fact that some gullible Christians have been parroting the claims without understanding the reasons behind it, we would have not even bothered with a refutation. Such a claim is based only on conjecture and moral relativism, and not on fact.


Modern Examples To Heal The Polluted Mind

Another important point is that in certain countries like Japan and Spain, the age of sexual consent is thirteen (13) years and twelve (12) years respectively. In the United States of America, men who have sexual intercourse with these women will be termed as paedophile, yet it is perfectly normal in their own countries. Would it be correct for the Americans to label the Japanese and Spaniards as paedophiles according to the US man-made standards? Only a stupid person or an arrogant person will put their head to the ground for such pathetic notions. These are all standards set by the "Western World". We do not blame everyone in them. But those who make the rules, and those who carve the so-called "ideals" of their society.

Do we want to listen to people whose failed Imaan has doomed them for Jahannam forever?

A smile, and a "No!" is the perfect answer.

So brothers and sisters:

Shall we judge our beloved Nabi Muhammad SAW by the standards set by the "Western World" of today or shall we judge by the standards that were set in his own time?

I don't need to explain anymore to this answer. A gesture will do. :)


Simple Scientific Evidence

It is also a proven fact that in those countries which have a hot climate, people mature faster. This further elaborates on the maturity of Aishah RA binti Abu Bakr RA, since the Arabian Peninsula has a very hot climate.

The significance of menstruation that anyone with the slightest familiarity with physiology will tell you is that it is a sign that the girl is being prepared to become a mother. Women reach puberty at different ages ranging from eight (8) to twelve (12) years old depending on genetics, race and environment. We read that there is little difference in the size of boys and girls until the age of ten, the growth-boom at puberty starts earlier in girls but lasts longer in boys. We also read that the first signs of puberty occur around the age of nine (9) years or ten (10) years in girls but closer to twelve (12) in boys.

Women in warmer environments reach puberty at a much earlier age than those in cold environments. As previously mentioned. The average temperature of the country or province is considered the chief factor here, not only with regard to menstruation but as regards to the whole sexual development at puberty. This is scientifically proven.


Puberty

Puberty has always been a symbol of adulthood throughout history.

Puberty is defined as the age or period at which a person is first capable of sexual reproduction, in other eras of history, a rite or celebration of this landmark event was a part of the culture. Did we know this? Okay - now we know.

The renowned sexologists, R.E.L. Masters and Allan Edwards, in their study of Afro-Asian sexual expression states the following:

"Today, in many parts of North Africa, Arabia, and India, girls are wedded and bedded between the ages of five and nine; and no self-respecting female remains unmarried beyond the age of puberty."

There is more proof, but we don't want this discussion to get too long.


Qur'an & Ahadith

Islam clearly teaches that adulthood starts when a person have attained puberty.
From the Qur'an and the collection of Imam Bukhari RA, we read:

The boy attaining the age of puberty and the validity of their witness and the Statement of Allah:

"And when the children among you attain the age of puberty, then let them also ask for permission (to enter)." (Surah 24: Ayat 59)

The above explains about puberty as well as the Adab of Hijab.

Next:

Al Mughirah RA said:

"I attained puberty at the age of twelve."

Next:

The attaining of puberty by women is with the start of menses, as is referred to by the Statement of Allah in the Qur'an:

"Such of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them prescribed period if you have any doubts (about their periods) is three months." (Surah 65: Ayat 4)

Thus, it is part of Islam to acknowledge the coming of puberty as the start of adulthood. It is the time when the person has already matured and is ready the responsibilities of an adult.

So on what basis do the missionaries criticise the marriage of Aishah RA since her marriage was consummated when she had reached puberty???

We also read from the same source that:

Al-Hasan bin Salih RA said:

"I saw a neighbour of mine who became a grandmother at the age of twenty-one."

The note for the reference to the above narration says:

"This women attained puberty at the age of nine and married to give birth to a daughter at ten; the daughter had the same experience."


Conclusions & Summary

There is no need for a summary, but to ease the brain in its mission to convey to others, we have seen that:

1. It was the norm of the Semitic society in 7th century Arabia to allow pubescent marriages.

2. There were no reports of opposition to the Prophet SAW's marriage to Aishah RA either from his friends or his enemies.

3. Even today, there are cultures who still allow pubescent marriage for their young women.
In spite of facing these well-known facts, these sick missionaries would still have the audacity to point a finger at the Prophet Muhammad SAW for immorality. Yet, it was he (SAW) who had brought justice to the women of Arabia and raised them to a level they had not seen before in their society, something which ancient civilizations have never done to their women. Neither of those of today.

Spread this.


And Something Recent for Thought

A news article from The New Straits Times, Malaysia dated 10th of March, 2001 stated about a nine-year old girl living in northern Thailand giving birth to a baby girl.

May Allah SWT give us Imaan and Practice, and respect for Rasulullah SAW, his Sahabah RA, and our Pious Predecessors. Ameen.



Abu Khadijah Damansari.

Your Mother

All praise is for Allah and peace and blessings be upon the Prophet Muhammed SAW.

After Allah and His Messenger, the most beloved and respected person to any Muslim should be his Mother.

Allah has given the mother such status that Rasulullah SAW says: (mafhum)

"Paradise lies under the feet of mothers."

Obedience and respect towards your mother is a very important duty in Islam and is similar to performing Solat and keeping fast. To hurt your mother in any way is the second biggest sin and those who commit this evil sin will be harshly punished by Allah in the Hereafter or maybe even in this world.

WHY?

Your mother is not a Prophet, nor is she an angel. She is just a human being like you. So why has Allah ordered you to be obedient towards your mother, and why does your mother have such a high status in Islam?

Allah loves and cares for us more than anybody else, and he especially loves those people who love and care for others. Similarly, Allah's Wrath fall upon those people who hurt other people in any way. Allah the All-Knowing, knows that in this world nobody is more loving and caring towards another person than the way that a mother is towards her child. Only Allah and Rasulullah SAW love you more than your mother!

Only Allah knows what your mother does for you. Allah sees your mother feeling pain whilst she tries to give you whatever you want. Allah sees your mother’s love and kindness. Pleased by your mother's actions, Allah has given her a very high status and many virtues and rewards. Allah also sees that many of us are not thankful to our mothers. Allah sees many of us being disobedient towards our mothers.

Therefore, Allah has ordered us to be good towards our mothers. Allah has not advised us; but Allah has ordered us! We have no choice; therefore we have to be good towards our mothers.

To encourage us to do this, Allah has promised Paradise for those of us who are obedient towards our mothers.

At the same time, Allah has threatened to severely punish those of us who do not listen to our mothers, or hurt them in any way.

But what does your mother do for you?

She only cooks and cleans?

What - just that ???

So why do you need to be thankful to your Mother?

Apart from Allah, nobody knows what our mother really does for us.

TEN REASONS FOR BEING THANKFUL TO YOUR MOTHER:

1. Your mother carried you in her womb for nine months bearing pain upon pain.

2. During this time, she could not eat nor sleep - because of you.

3. When you were a baby, and then a child, she spent every minute of her life looking after you.

4. She only slept when you slept.; she only ate after you had eaten.

5. She was patient and loved you even when you cried all night; when you cried all day.

6. She taught you how to walk; how to speak; how to eat; how to live.

7. When you fall ill, she looks after you.

8. She always cooks and prepares food for you.

9. She buys you the things you ask for.

10. She will always love you, no matter what you do.


These are just a few things that our mothers do for us. They do so much more ; more things we do not know about. And one thing that your Mother does for you, that nobody else in the world does, is that she worries about you from the bottom of her heart.


SO WHAT ARE THE THINGS SHE WORRIES ABOUT?

1. She worries about your food.

2. She worries about your clothes.

3. She worries about your health.

4. She worries about your education.

5. She worries about your future.

6. She worries about your whole life.

Allah has ordered us, in various places of the Holy Qur'an, to be good to our mothers. Allah has told us to look after them even more when they are old and weak. Allah has taught us to be gentle to our mothers and speak to them in a nice manner.

Allah has also told us to supplicate to Him for our mothers with this prayer:

"Rabbir-Hamhuma Kama Rabbayani Sagheerah."

("My Lord - have Mercy upon my parents; the way they had Mercy upon me when I was young.")

The Prophet Muhammad SAW has also ordered us to be good to our mothers. The Prophet SAW has told us about the great rewards for that person who is good to his mother. He (SAW) has described the mother as being a 'Door of Paradise'.

Rasulullah SAW has also warned us of severe punishments for that person who is disobedient to his mother.


TEN EASY WAYS TO ENTER PARADISE

1. Listen to your mother.

2. Help your mother.

3. Smile at your mother.

4. Be thankful to your mother for whatever she does for you.

5. Spend time with your mother.

6. Always ask your mother if you can help her with anything.

7. Buy your mother gifts.

8. Be good to your mother's family and friends.

9. Lead a good and exemplary life so that your mother is happy.

10. Always make du'a for your mother, especially after every Solat.

THOSE WHO ARE DISOBEDIENT TO THEIR MOTHER WILL BURN IN THE FIRE OF JAHANNAM

However hard we try, we can never repay our mothers for what they have done for us; but we can at least do as much as we can, and also ask Allah to repay them for us. Our mothers are indeed a great blessing from Allah. We should greatly appreciate and value this blessing.

Whilst our mothers are alive, we have a golden opportunity to guarantee ourselves Paradise and also success in this world.

We will only truly realise the value and status of our mothers when they are no longer with us.

Learn To Take Care Of Your Children - 106

UNDESIRABLE NAMES SHOULD BE CHANGED

Aishah RA reports that Rasulullah SAW used to change the unpleasant names of people and replaced them with good names.

Abdullah bin Umar RA relates that one of his sisters was named Aasiyah (disobedient). Rasullah SAW changed it to Jameelah (beautiful).

Zainab RA says that I had been named Birrah (pious). Rasulullah SAW then said: "Do not claim piety, for Allah knows best who amongst you are pious. Name her Zainab!"


NAMES MAY INFLUENCE THE LIVES OF PEOPLE

Sa'eed ibn Musayib RA relates from his father that his grandfather went to Rasulullah SAW and was asked: "What is your name?" He replied: "Hazn" (sorrow). Rasulullah SAW said: "You are Sahl." (contended). He replied: "I will not change the name my father had given me." The narrator says that thereafter sorrow continually remained with them.


KEEP AWAY FROM NAMES IMPLYING SHIRK

As Muslims, we should always abstain from keeping names implying any elements of Shirk, like adjoining the word 'Abd' (servant) to names or epithets other that those of Allah Ta'ala.

Rasulullah SAW also forbade keeping pompous and self-glorifying names, for this reveals arrogance and haughtiness - human elements most abhorred by Allah Ta'ala.


PROTECT THE DIGNITY OF YOUR IDENTITY AND FAITH

Muslims should always have dignity and protect their identity and faith. Nowadays, to conceal his/her identity, it is common practice for a person to "westernise" his name, like substituting Yusuf with Joe or Joseph, Uzair with Ozzie, Ridhuan with Ricky and even Muhammad with Mo.

Efforts to distort such beautiful names merely reveal an un-Islamic and sacreligious attitude. Remember, there exists behind each Islamic name an Islamic spirit and meaning, which, when distorted, is ruined. For example, there is intended love for the Prophet of Islam, and barakah when naming a child Muhammad. But when Muhammad is called Mo, this spirit of love for Rasulullah SAW and the acquiring of barakah by such a name is shattered. Should we not then refrain from such sacreligious practices?

May Allah Ta'ala guide us so that we may realise the beauty and uniqueness of the religion of Islam propounded by no other than the one who is the best of Allah's creations - Rasulullah SAW.

Ameen.

Learn To Take Care Of Your Children - 105

NAMING THE CHILD

It is the infant's vested right to be honoured with a good name. When choosing a name for the child, it should be done with the intention that the child will be blessed with the barakah of that name. Here are some Ahadith to show the importance of selecting a good and correct name:

Abdullah ibn Umar RA relates Rasulullah SAW as saying:

"Truly, the most loved of your names by Allah are Abdullah and Abdur-Rahmaan."

It is also reported in the Hadith collection of Abu Dawud that Rasulullah SAW said:

"Keep the names of prophets. And the most desirable names by Allah Ta'ala are Abdullah and Abdur-Rahmaan. And names that depict honesty are Haarith (planter) and Hammaam (thoughtful). And the most disliked ones are Harb (battle) and Murrah (bitter)."


THE BARAKAH OF NAMING A CHILD AFTER RASULULLAH SAW

Rasulullah SAW said:

"Whoever is named after me with the hope of being blessed, he will be blessed and will be in peace till the Day of Qiyaamat."

Rasulullah SAW is also reported to have said:

"To whomever is born a boy and he names him Muhammad solely for the love of me and for the blessings of my name, then both he (the father) and his son will enter Jannah."


THE IMPORTANCE OF KEEPING GOOD NAMES

It has been narrated that Rasulullah SAW said:

"On the Day of Qiyaamah you will be called by your (own) names and the names of your fathers. Therefore keep good names." (RIwayat Abu Dawud)

Rasulullah SAW also advised the Ummah:

"To whoever is born a child, the child should be given a good name and sound education. And when he becomes of age he should be married."

It was the practice of Rasulullah SAW to enquire the names of persons and villages. If they were pleasant, it became apparent on his face. If not, his displeasure could be seen.

Once Rasulullah SAW called for a volunteer to milk a she-camel. Four persons volunteered: he refused to accept the services of the first three because their names did not imply pleasantness. The names of the first two were Murrah (bitter) while Jamrah (burning coal) was the name of the third person. When the fourth said his name is Yaeesh (long live), Rasulullah SAW said to him - "Milk her".

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WHEN THE CHILD BEGINS TO TALK

The child should first be taught to say the Kalimah Shahadah when he /she begins to talk.

"Laa Ilaaha Illallah Muhammmadar Rasulullah."


EDUCATION AND GOOD MANNERS

Islam lays considerable emphasis on education and good character. It is the children's rightful claim to be given sound Islaamic education and taught good manners. This will not only afford the children happiness in both the worlds, but they will prove great assets to both, their families and society as well. This is why Rasoolullah sallallaahu-alayhi-wasallam declared good manners as the 'best thing' a father can impart to his children. He also declared the mother as the 'shepherdess' of the household which implies that she is responsible for the correct upbringing of her children.


WHAT PARENTS OWE THEIR CHILDREN

Education and Good Manners
Islam lays great emphasis on education and good character. It is the children's rightful claim to be given sound Islamic education and taught good manners. This will not only afford the children happiness in both - the world and the Hereafter, but they will prove great assets to both - their families and society as well. This is why Rasulullah SAW declared good manners as the best thing a father can impart to his children. He also declared the mother as the shepherdess of the household which implies that she is responsible for the correct upbringing of her children. Let it be known that this cannot be achieved if the mother is occupied with so-called professional obligations. To sacrifice the nurturing of good children at the expense of a "career" is lowly.

Self-Esteem
Parents owe their children personal worth and self-esteem which are the cornerstones for sound mental health. A child who is constantly criticised, looked down at, reproached, made to feel stupid and inept, continually compared with their brothers and sisters or cousins who do better; will become so unsure and so terrified that he or she will lose enthusiasm for learning and becoming successful.

Praising The Child and Expressing Love
A child needs to be praised every now and again for his achievements and good behaviour. Some parents find it difficult to voice their approval or praise the child. However, there are other modes of expressing approval as well, such as - a smile, a caress or a kiss will convey approval. All these acts of love are very essential for producing children who are healthy in mind and body. It is for this reason that our Shari'ah lays considerable stress on showing love and affection to children. Rasulullah SAW said that one who does not have mercy on our children and does not respect our elders, is not from among us.

Equality
Parents should always treat their children equitably. Children tend to grow miserable, lose confidence, become discouraged and resentful if parents show favouritism towards a particular child. It is related by Aishah RA - that once she offered a date to a lady beggar who was accompanied by her two daughters. The lady shared the date between her two daughters, depriving herself of a share. Then she departed. When Rasulullah SAW came home, she related to him the incident. The Prophet SAW said: "Whoever is involved (dealing in issues) with any daughters, and he treats them well (equitably), this will serve as a protection for him/her from the Fire."

Basic Islamic Education
It is the duty of every parent to ensure that his/her children have basic Islamic education which covers Aqaa'id or Islamic beliefs, the five principles of Islam, the rulings and Masaa'il pertaining to these five principles and the correct recital of the Holy Qur'an.

Standards and Values
Decent standards and solid values should also be taught to the child. This means being respectful to parents, elders, the Ulama, teachers and just laws.

Cleanliness and Other Necessary Precautions
The Shari'ah has termed cleanliness as half of Imaan. As such the mother should personally accomplish all maternal devotions such as feeding, bathing and keeping the child clean and in hygiene. Soiled clothes must be cleaned without delay so that there is no potential of disease and sickness spreading. In the availables of modern medical care, the child should also be immunised against infantile diseases. Never should any Muslim be tricked by the Shaytaan to think that getting an immunisation jab for the child means lack of faith and reliance in Allah. This is a deception which must be thrown away.

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TAHNEEK

Tahneek means the placing of a piece of date, softened by chewing, on the palate of the new-born. The practice of tahneek is Masnun (a confirmed Sunnah) since Rasulullah SAW made the tahneek of Abdullah bin Zubair RA and Abdullah bin Talhah RA. Unfortunately this practice of tahneek is rarely acted upon in modern times. The reward of reviving a "dying" sunnah of Rasulullah SAW is boundless. Here again, this should be the prerogative of a learned Aalim or a pious elder of the family. Otherwise any Muslim male would suffice. If dates are not available, honey should serve as an ideal substitute.

THE AFTERBIRTH AND NAVAL-CORD

The afterbirth and naval-cord should be buried with due care since they are considered parts of the human body. As such, it should be treated with respect and honour. Disposing it in the drain or garbage is contrary to this honour. It is for this reason, too, that the dead body of a human being may not be cremated or abandoned in a pit for vultures and other animals to devour it, as is customary among the people of other religions.

FEEDING

As the infant is the offspring of its mother, it is common sense that the mother's milk is the most suitable source of nourishment for the baby. Therefore, the mother should most obligingly fulfil her duty of breastfeeding the child. By so doing - bonds of love, affection and intimacy are strengthened between mother and child, and in the process, good habits and character are transmitted to the child. All these and countless other benefits are contained in breastfeeding. Artificial methods of feeding are all devoid of these benefits. Other methods of feeding of course may be resorted to if ill health or other circumstances do not permit the mother to breastfeed her child. The mother must ensure that no Haraam food is consumed by the child; and the recitation of "Bismillah" should always be recited before feeding.

MAXIMUM PERIOD FOR BREASTFEEDING

The maximum period for which a child could be breastfed is two years, for this is the right of the child. The child should be weaned by two years and common food should be fed to the child.

THE CHILD'S ATTIRE

Muslim males may not adorn themselves with clothes of silk or any red and bright orange (saffron) colour. Neither gold nor silver ornaments (except for a silver ring of defined specifications). Adorning is only characteristic of women.

Parents should also ensure that children dress in an honourable and modest manner - never immitating the ostentatious styles that may be in vogue. Due to the incorrect concept of 'freedom" and "broadmindedness", parents allow their children to dress and act in a manner they wish. This eventually results in problematic, rebellious and disobedient children who in adolescent stages cause parents and society untold heartbreak and much anxiety.

HAIR, AQIQAH AND NAMING THE CHILD

It is recommended Sunnah to remove the baby's hair and to observe the Aqiqah and to name the child on the seventh day after birth. Gold or silver equivalent to the weight of the removed hair may be given as charity to the poor. Otherwise its equivalent value in money. The hair, being a portion of the human body should be buried with due respect. Aqeeqah is a form of sadaqah whereby the child is safeguarded against misfortunes. Two sheep or two goats are offered for a boy while one goat or sheep suffices for a girl. If the seventh day coincides with the days of Qurban (the Eid of sacridfice) then portions of a cow, ox or camel may be offered as qurbaani and portions for Aqiqah.

CIRCUMCISION

Circumcision must be performed on the children, both male and female. For males it consists of removing the prepuce from the penis, and for females, it involves removing the prepuce (bazr) of the clitoris (not the clitoris itself, as some mistakenly assert). It is best that circumcision is done at a very young age - e.g. on the seventh day after birth, as that is when it is easiest to perform; and at most before puberty - the age of which non-performance of Solat becomes sinful.

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WHEN A CHILD IS BORN

It is indeed a joyous occasion when parents are blessed with a child. And the extent of the joy could be enhanced even further if the laws of Shari'ah are adhered to and all other meaningless rituals are cast aside. Welcoming the child into his/her worldly life has already been taught - clearly by Rasulullah SAW. For immense spiritual benefit, we follow what has been prescribed, and leave anything contrevening from culture.

After birth the child should be given proper ghusl (bath). Thereafter the message of the Greatness and Oneness of Allah Ta'ala, and the prophethood of Rasulullah SAW should be the first words to reach the child's innocent ears. This should be accomplished by giving Azaan near his right ear and Iqamah close to his left. This noble task should be the prerogative of an Aalim or a pious elder of the family. If such a person is not at hand then any Muslim male may perform this Sunnah.


DU'AS ON THIS BLESSED OCCASSION

It is recommended Sunnah to recite the following du'a after the Azaan and Iqamah:

Allaahumma innee a'uudhuhaa bika wa dhurriyyatihaa min ash-shaytaani ar-rajeem.

O Allah, I seek your protection for her and her descendants from the cursed Shaytaan.

Note: For boys read "A'oodhuhu" and "wa dhurriyatuhu'.

After that, proceed with Surah Al-Ikhlas - "Qul Huwallaahu Ahad etc."

Then proceed:

Allahumma ij'alhu barran taqiyyan. Wa anbit-hu fil Islaam nabaatan hasanaa.

For girls read:

Allahumma ij'alhaa barran taqiyyan. Wa anbit-haa fil Islaam nabaatan hasanaa.

O Allah, make him/her pious and Godfearing and let him/her grow up in Islam to his/her excellent growth.

Then continue:

Allaahumma allimhul kitaaba wal hikma wafiqqih-hu fi ddeen.

For girls read:

Allaahumma allimhal kitaaba wal hikma wafiqqih-ha fi ddeen.

O Allah, teach him/her the Qur'an and wisdom and give him/her the understanding in Deen.

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Allah SWT says in the Qur'an:

"Verily the religion with Allah (true, genuine and acceptable by Allah) is Islam..." (Surah Al-Imraan)

In other words, Allah has referred to Islam as the only religion acceptable by Him. This means that for anyone to attain pure success, Islam must be followed; and any other way will lead to doom and failure.

And at another place in the Qur'an, Allah SWT announces:

"Today have I perfected for you your religion and have completed my favours upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion..." (Surah Al-Maa'idah)

In the above mentioned Ayat, Allah SWT refers to Islam as a perfect and complete religion which Allah SWT has chosen for us. That is to say, a religion which is complete in all aspects of life.

Since Islam is as mentioned by Allah Ta'ala, it is the bounded duty of every Muslim to ensure the upbringing of his children in the perfect and uncompromising fashion of Islam. How can we even have flavour and appetite for Western ideals when even those of the West today has become disillusioned and disenchanted by their own mess.

So hence, the choice is entirely ours - either we rear children who will be a credit to their Deen, comfort to their families and a boon to society: or by slavishly adhering to the rubbish passed of as "modern" and "fashionable", we will reap untold heartbreak when these children, after reaching adolescence, prove rebellious and disobedient to both, their families and society at large.

If we are desirous of children imbued with true Islamic spirit, then we must mould our lives strictly in accordance with the teachings of our beloved Rasulullah SAW so that from the very beginning of conception, our children will be blessed with the Nur and true spirit of Islam.


AN ADVICE TO THE THE EXPECTANT MOTHER

It is irrefutable that the mother's proper nourishment has a telling effect on the health of the yet-to-be-born child. In the like manner the spiritual nourishment of the mother is no less important. If the mother is desirous of an obedient, pious and spiritually healthy child - and which Muslim parent isn't??? - she has no choice but to think and act in a manner which will manifest the luminous spirit of Islaam. She will have to spend, much time offering her devotions to Allah by performing Solat, making Zikr, reciting the Holy Qur'an and fill her time with Ibadah.

This will have a two-fold result:

(i) The mother will remain spiritually and mentally healthy; and at the same time -
(ii) The child will be inheriting piety, good manners and many other angelic qualities;

Insha-Allah.

It is no wonder then that these angelic qualities are often manifested in the infancy of many great personalities. It is said of many pious people of the past - that they were born with certain portions of the Holy Qur'an already imprinted in their memory. Others even refused to drink the milk of their mother during the holy month of Ramadhan.

Below infact is an authentic incident mentioned in the collections of Bukhari and Muslim to substantiate that the acts of virtue of parents certainly have positive effects on their progenies for generations to come:

Abu Talhah RA, a companion of Rasulullah SAW, had a son who had fallen gravely ill. During that period the father had to leave home for a number of days on an important errand, leaving the child to the care of the mother. Whilst away, the sickness caused the death of the child. The mother beseeched the people not to inform her husband even when he returned. When he returned his very first enquiry was about his son. She answered that he (their son) is presently in a more comfortable state than that which he had been in (meaning that death had rendered him peace and comfort). By this answer the husband understood that he had recuperated. She then offered him his supper which he ate with relish. The good wife then even adorned herself as best she could which filled him with passionate feelings. When she saw that her husbands needs had been tended to, then only did she disclose to him the death of their son.

This stark news proved a severe blow to him. He was annoyed and overcome with intense grief, that she had not disclosed to him the child's fate earlierl. At daybreak he approached Rasulullah SAW and related to him what had transpired during the night. Rasulullah SAW intently asked him whether they had copulated. When he answered in the affirmative, he blessed them by saying: "O Allah, grant them blessings for what had transpired during the night."

Many months later, a male issue was born of them whose Tahneek (the act of placing sweet substances e.g. dates into the mouth of a newborn baby) was done by Rasulullah SAW. He (SAW) named him - "Abdullah".

When Abdullah RA grew up and married, Allah Ta'ala blessed him with nine children, all of whom became Huffaz (memorisers) of the Holy Qur'an and learned Ulama of their time. This overwhelming attainment can only be attributed to the acts of virtue of the grandmother of these Ulama. It becomes apparent from the above incident that acts of virtue of parents not only have a telling effect on their children but also on their progenies for generations to come.

Encouragement of Marriage and Having Children

Islam encourages that young Muslims get married and have children.

The Prophet Muhammad SAW is reported to have said:

"O young people, whoever of you can afford it, let him get married. It helps restrain the eyes and preserve the private parts. But if he cannot afford it, let him fast, for it works as a preventative."

Rasulullah SAW also said:

"Marry fertile women; I will be showing off your large number on the Day of Resurrection."


Choosing the Right Spouse

These are the main characteristics that should be sought when choosing a spouse:

1. Deen
It is the first thing to look for according to the Prophet Muhammad SAW's instructions. This does not mean that we should just proceed with choosing any Muslim husband/wife; but the candidate who applies Islam throughout his/her daily life; thus not just a nominal Muslim.


2. Conduct
A woman or a man who has good manners is considered as a grace from Allah SWT.

The Prophet SAW is reported to have said:

"There is nothing more beneficial to a Believer next to the fear of Allah than a pious wife. When he commands her, she obeys him; and when he looks at her, she pleases him; and when he swears by Allah that she should do a thing, she would; and when he is away, she guards herself and his property." (Note that this hadith is comprehensive enough is a complete advice to the Muslim wife.)

This also applies to the husband with regard to good conduct and fear of Allah, this is so because the responsibility of raising children requires the efforts of both parents, and not just one of them. Since in Islam, man is the head of the family, it is his responsibility to choose a pious woman to be the mother of his children.

Allah states in the Qur'an:

"O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones." (Surah 66: Ayat 6)

And Allah SWT also says:

"And enjoin As-Solat (the prayer) on to your family, and be patient in offering them (i.e. the Solat - prayers)."

When Allah's Messenger SAW was asked by his Companions RA about the greatest sins, he (SAW) replied:

"(The greatest sins is that) You should associate an equal to Allah while He created you, that you kill your child out of fear that he would eat from your food, and that you commit adultery with your neighbour's wife." (Bukhari and Muslim)

Practical Tips For Parenting Young Children

Parents of young children of pre-school age should have only few expectations in terms of behavior and acquisition of knowledge due to the cognitive limitations at this age.

This does not mean that children should just be allowed to run about and do as they please; they still require guidelines and boundaries. To further explain - care should be taken regarding the methods that are used to raise children and the values that are instilled from the very beginning.

It is interesting to note that the Arabic term tarbiyah, which is often used to mean teaching or training, generally refers to growth, increase, nourishment, and cultivation. This relates to the physical, intellectual, emotional, psychological, and spiritual aspects of an individual. When thinking of growth and cultivation, this implies that something has already been planned or is already present (natural fitrah).

Tarbiyah then refers to the various methods that are used to watch over and attend to a child until he or she becomes prepared to take responsibility and behave in complete submission to and worship of Allah SWT.

The following suggestions are techniques that may be used for tarbiyah for early childhood.


PLAY, PLAY, PLAY

Play should be the primary emphasis during this time in a child's life since this is the means through which they gain an understanding of the world around them. Pretend or imaginative play is the most common type of play during this stage and this directly impacts cognitive, social, and psychological development.

Children will often mimic or imitate the behavior of adults or other children around them in their play, which is their way of preparing for their particular roles in life. Girls will most often imitate their mother, and boys will follow in the footsteps of their father. You will see girls playing with dolls, dressing and feeding them and boys in more rough-and-tumble physical types of play. These gender roles develop at an early age and are a natural part of Allah's plan for the dilterentiation of responsibilities for men and women. These and other types of play should be encouraged and fostered in young children.


PREVENTION

The saying "Prevention is the best medicine" is true not only in the medical field, but also within psychology. There are many steps that parents can take to prevent misbehavior and avoid the disruption that can be caused within the family.

First of all, children need predictability, structure, and guidelines because this gives them a sense of security and a feeling that there is order in the world. When this is present they are less likely to feel anxious or stressed which, in turn, will decrease the likelihood of inappropriate behavior. Children will sometimes act chaotic if they are in a chaotic environment.

Secondly, probably the most common reason for misbehavior is to gain attention from a parent or other adults. A defining feature of being human is the need for social contact, approval, and attcntion that is already present at birth. When parents fulfil this need adequately, a child will feel content and be more likely to engage in solitary play. If a child is not able to obtain attention through positive behavior, a young girl may lie or she may utilise negative behavior for this purpose. Parents can fulfill this need by spending quality time with their child e.g. talking, playing, reading, enjoying nature, and much more. Quality is often more important than quantity.


REWARDING POSITIVE BEHAVIOUR

The concept of rewards and punishments is an integral part of Islamic Aqidah as there are natural consequences for each or our actions. This same wisdom can be applied to the area of parenting.

The Messenger of Allah SAW said that Allah SWT says:

"Allah has written down the good deeds and the bad ones. Then He explained it (by saying that) he who has intended a good deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed; but if he has intended it and has done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as from ten good deeds to seven hundred times, or many times over. But if he has intended a bad deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed, but if he has intended it and has done it, Allah writes it down as one bad deed." (Bukhari and Muslim)

Allah's mercy can be seen in the above Hadith Qudsi and this should be reflected in a parent's tarbiyah as well. Rewards are effective in not only increasing the occurrence of positive behaviour, but also in decreasing negative behaviour and increasing a child's self-esteem. The most eflective rewards for children are those that are the easiest to give: praise, encouragement, hugs, thanks, appreciation and more.


IGNORING MISBEHAVIOUR

Many of the inappropriate behaviors of young children can simply be ignored or disregarded. The Prophet SAW, is our best example in this regard.

Anas bin Malik RA said:

"The Messenger of Allah (SAW) had the best disposition among people. One day he sent me on an errand and I said, 'By Allah, I will not go,' but it was in my mind that I would do as the Messenger of Allah had ordered me. I went until I came upon children playing in the street. Then the Messenger of Allah (SAW) arrived and he caught me by the back of my neck from behind. As I looked at him, I found him smiling, and he said, `Unays (nickname of Anas), did you go where I asked you to go'?' I said, `O Messenger of Allah, yes, I am going."'

Anas RA said further:

"I served him for nine years, but I do not know that he ever said to me about anything I did, why I did that, or about anything I had neglected, why I had not done that." (Muslim)

We may want to compare this to how we react to or interact with our own children. For young children, in particular, it is really counterproductive to berate, question, and reprimand when they really have little understanding as to why they acted in a certain way. Simply ignoring the behaviour may be the most appropriate response.

Another related technique is to redirect the child to something else in the environment to draw attention away from the undesirable.

It is important to realise that within these general guidelines there are about as many ways to parent as there are parents. Parents need to take into consideration the unique personalities, dispositions, and gifts of each child when deciding upon a particular approach. What may work with one child may not necessarily be effective with another. It is also imperative to remember that our children are one of the greatest tests that we have from Allah SWT, and we need to continually ask Him for assistance and guidance for ourselves and our children. This is the most effective and powerful tool for tarbiyah.

"When My servants ask you (Muhammad) concerning Me, I am indeed near. I respond to the prayer of every suppliant when he calls on Me. Let them also, with a will, listen to My call and believe in Me, that they may walk in the right way." (Surah Al-Baqarah: Ayat 186)

Step-Mother / Step-Child Relationship

According to Shari'ah, an adoptive mother will be a foster mother if she suckled the child within two years of childhood.

If she did not suckle the child within that period, in principle, they will be Ghayr Mahaarim to one another i.e. Non-Muhrims.

Child Adoption In Islam

Child adoption in Islam is permissible.

The circumstances of each case may differ from the other. In any circumstances, the important aspect is the consent of both parties, adoptive parents and guardian of the child i.e. for example,
biological parents.

Brother-In-Law & Sister-In-Law

Rasulullah SAW said:

"The brother-in-law is death (to the sister-in-law)."

In view of the above Hadith mentioned, a person should exercise strict Hijab with his / her
sister-in-law / brother-in-law. Do not look at them or talk to them unnecessarily.

In most cultures of the world, it is commonly accepted that the brother-in-law and sister-in-law are like brothers and sisters. This is a misconception and does not make the rulings in shari'ah. The brother-in-law to the sister-in-law is a non-Muhrim; and vice-versa.

Illigitimate Child and Father

There is a confusion in terms of what are the responsibilities of a Muslim man who fathered a child out of wedlock and what are the rights of these children?

In this day and age there is popular belief surfacing among a certain sect of Muslim men that is giving them the impression that they have no responsibilities toward children they have fathered out of wedlock.

Principally, a child born out of wedlock is not attributed to the biological father. The reason being - to condemn such illicit and Haraam acts.

If Shari'ah grants the child recognition, people will continue with adulterous relationships. The mother of the child must bear the consequences of her consent to the Haraam act. That will serve as an eye-opener to other females not to consent to a Haraam act as she will have to suffer the consequences all by herself.