A Complaint of a Woman

Once a lady approached Saiyidina Umar ibn Khattab RA during his Caliphate.

She said to him:

"Ya, Amirul Mu'mineen (Commander of the Faithful), by day my husband fasts and by night he is diligent in prayer, thus I feel inadequate to complain of him as he is engaged in the obedience of the Almighty."


Saiyidina Umar RA replied:

"What a pious man your husband is."


The complaining lady repeated her complaint.
In reply Saiyidina Umar RA repeated the same reply.


Ka'ab Asadi RA said unto Saiyidina Umar RA:

"Oh Commander of the Faithful, this lady is complaining of her husband due to the fact that her husband remains distant from her bed."


Saiyidina Umar RA replied:

"Just as you have understood her intentions, I feel you should resolve her problems."


Ka'ab RA then said to the lady:

"Beckon your husband to me."


Later then, the husband came forth.


Kaab RA said unto her husband:

"Your wife is complaining of you."

Her husband then asked whether if she was complaining of the shortage in food or drink (in their house).


Hazrat Ka'ab replied:

"No."


The lady then continued:

"Oh Chief Justice whose guidance is of great wisdom, his (my husband's) place of worship has busied him; my beloved (is away) from my chamber. Negligent is he unto my bed, the very works of his Ibadah. Hence, Oh Ka'ab make a decision, for he is indifferent be it day or night. His days and nights pass without sleep. Hence, I find he is not praiseworthy within womanly affairs."


The lady's husband replied:

"What has made me lose interest in sharing a bed within her bridal chamber, I am such who has been made to forget due to that which has been revealed. In the Surah An-Nahl (in the Qur'an) and seven other lengthily Surahs. Also the frightening, alarming Surahs of the Holy Qur'an."


Upon hearing the above Ka'ab RA ordered:

"Surely you have to fulfil her rights too. Her rights fall within four days for he who understands. Hence, leave your excuses and bestow her with her rights."

Ka'ab RA continues:

"Verily, Allah Ta'ala has allowed two, three or four woman (for a Muslim man to marry). Thus for you are three days and nights for Ibadah."


Having heard this excellent reply, Saiyidina Umar RA proclaimed (mafhum):

"I swear by Allah that I am confused as to whether the fact that you were able to instantly recognise the true intent of the complaining wife is more astounding or your flair and approach in resolving this matter - which is unknown to me. Be on your way, I announce you the Governor of Basrah as from today."

Quick Hadith 124

Abu Hurairah RA narrates that Rasulullah SAW said:

"Treat your women with affection. Verily, the woman is created from the rib. The most crooked rib is the upper one; if you try to straighten it, you will break it." (Sahih Bukhari)


COMMENTARY

On the commentary of this Hadith, the commentator of Sahih Bukhari - Hafiz Ibn Hajar RA states that this Hadith indicates to the creation of Hawa AS from the left rib of Nabi Adam AS, which is in accordance to a narration recorded by Imam Muhammad ibn Ishaq RA. (Fathul Baari)

Muslim Ladies - You Are Special

Let us highlight a verse of the Qur'an, and, then, try to explain the Islamic viewpoint on social relations, and indicate how realistic it is in its approach to community life. The verse is from Surah An-Nisaa (the Chapter of Women). The title of the Surah should be enough to show what place Islam gives to womankind.

"O Mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord Who created you from a single soul (i. e. Adam) and from it created its mate and from them twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women. Be careful of your duty towards Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and towards the wombs (that bare you) - Lo ! Allah hath been a Watcher over you." (Surah An-Nisaa: Ayat 1)

This verse fully explains the Islamic standpoint on the status of women and the mutual rights and duties of the two genders. First of all, Allah makes it clear that both men and women have been created in the same manner and their destinies are inter-related, as if they are the two parts of a single body. The little divergence in their physical structures is for no other reason than that they performed the journey of life comfortably.

Both the male and female groups have been created from a single soul, and, then, that single soul has been divided into two parts, but there is no contradiction or hostility between them. In life's journey, man has been provided with a partner from his own species and who is a part of his body. After it, the human race took its rise from them. Allah blessed their union, love and companionship with great abundance so that those who were, originally, two multiplied into millions till no one can tell how many men have been born into the world. It is known only to Allah. Allah has alluded to their abundance by using the word "multitude".

Allah then says:

"Fear Allah in Whose Name you lay your claim on one another."

The revolutionary idea that in the economy of human affairs, no one is sufficient into himself was, for the first time, propounded by the Qur'an. All men are dependent on one another. Everyone is, at once, the beggar and the giver. The division is not such that the beggars are one side and the givers on the other. The beggar is, also, the giver, and vice versa. Everyone is tied to the chain of rights and duties. In the network of civilised life everybody stands in need of others.

Without a woman, no man can accomplish his natural journey in a pleasant and comfortable manner, and, in the same way, no virtuous woman can lead a happy and contented life without a life-partner. The Lord Creator has made them dependent on each other in such a way that without one, the life of the other must remain incomplete.

Again, it is proclaimed that it is Allah in whose Name you demand your rights of one another. The Islamic society is founded upon belief in Allah, in His Power, Majesty and Oneness. The partnership between a Muslim man and a Muslim woman becomes legitimate when the Name of Allah is brought in between them. It is the Name of Allah that makes the strangers, the kindred, and the distant ones, the near ones.

The bond between man and wife is a bond of faith and love, and in its depth, intimacy and naturalness; it is absolutely unique. All this is the miracle of the Name of Allah. A new world is born with the coming in of His Name. A Muslim man and a Muslim woman cannot mix freely with one another; sometimes, they cannot even travel together. They are Na Mahram (A stranger. One who is not permitted to enter women's apartment) to each other. But a sacred tie is forged as soon as the Name of Allah comes to dwell between them.

The Qur'an, in its inimitable style, has represented the basic reality of human society, interdependence of its members, their co-relation and mutuality, in the few, simple words of through Whom ye demand your mutual rights.

It, then, proceeds to urge upon us to be careful of our duty to Allah in whose Name we make the unlawful, lawful , and bring about a revolution in our lives. The Qur'an has used another matchless expression, also, to describe the profound relationship between husband and wife.

The Qur'an says:

"They are raiment for you and ye are raiment for them." (Surah Al-Baqarah: Ayat 187)

It was the Qur'an alone that could use the word raiment in that context. Clothing is essential for hiding nakedness and for adornment of life. It conveys everything that can be said concerning the relationship of love, faith and trust between husband and wife. Just as without clothing a man looks more like an animal than a civilised being, in the same way, without a married life, must be considered less than civilised.

In Islam matrimony is not regarded a necessity but given the status of worship which brings a man closer to Allah. Or, in other words, the concept of marriage in it is not that of a biological or social necessity without which the enjoyment of life is not complete, but it has been given religious significance and elevated to the position of worship. The sacred Prophet SAW furnished the greatest example of it in his (SAW) own life.

Rasulullah SAW said:

"The best among you is he who is good to his family, and, among you, I am the best for my family."

If we study the life of the Prophet SAW, we will be struck by instances of showing respect to the fair gender and paying regard to its sentiments which are not to be found in the lives of the greatest champions of the rights of women or of holy men and law-givers of the highest order. and even in the lives of the other Apostles. The pains that the holy Prophet SAW took to please his wives and make them happy, his participation in their legitimate recreational activities and doing of justice to them were of surpassing charm and nobleness.

With children, also, Rasulullah SAW was so kind and affectionate that he would even cut short Solat, which was so dear to his (SAW) heart, if he heard a child crying. It was the height of benevolence and sacrifice. Nothing could be more precious to the holy Prophet SAW than Solat.

Yet, he would say:

"Sometimes. I like to prolong the prayer-service, but, then, I hear a child crying and shorten the service, thinking that its mother would be restless."

These are the examples we have before us. The Lord exhorts us to protect the dignity of the Name we have brought in. It should not be that we put it only to our advantage. This commandment is for both, men and women. We are, now, living in a modern high-tech society, We have not only to introduce the tenets of Islam to sociey, but, also, to present before them living models of its family-system. The Western ideal is rapidly on decline. There can be no two opinions about it. One of the foremost reasons of it is the disintegration of the family. Love and trust which are the cornerstone of a married life are yielding place to selfishness and sensuality. Modern philosophers are worried and studies are being undertaken for the preservation of the sanctity of the family. There ought to be love and sympathy on both the sides for in it, alone, lies true happiness. Even poverty and starvation are tolerated with equanimity where there is love and willingness to enter into and share the feelings of one another. There are, even now, many families in poor countries which do not have enough to eat and yet live happily because their is mutual love. Inso-called well-developed countries, there is everything-wealth, scientific innovation, and educational advancement - but the hearts are devoid of peace and contentment. They have not been able to turn their homes into a paradise. He who had set out to turn the world into a paradise has ended up by making his own home a hell. Many modern homes are unblest with peace and happiness. That is why, they seek diversion in clubs and other outside activities.

The Qur'anic verse quoted expounds the fundamental truth of Islamic social design that human society is based upon interdependence and respect for each others's rights. Everyone has his needs. But to realise it as a basic truth of human existence and to feel grateful to the person through whom the need is fulfilled is an attitude of mind. Islam seeks to promote and strengthen that outlook. Islam wants everyone to consider himself dependent on others and entertain respect for all members of the society. No problems of adjustment will, then, arise.

Encouragement For Women To Use Henna

Aishah RA narrates that Hinda, the daughter of Utbah RA said:

"Oh Prophet of Allah, grant me Bai'at (allegiance)."

Rasulullah SAW replied:

"I will not grant you Bai'at until you change your palms (apply Henna).(Mishkat)


Aishah RA states that a woman behind a curtain presented a letter to Rasulullah SAW.

Rasulullah SAW withdrew his hand saying:

"I do not know if this is a males' hand or a female's hand."

The woman then replied.

Rasulullah SAW then said:

"If you were a female you would have changed your nails (by applying Henna)."(Ibid)

In view of the above quoted Ahadith, one of the reasons for females applying Henna (natural die) is to distinguish her hands from that of a male. That can be best achieved by applying Henna on the palms and the nails. That can also be achieved by applying Henna on only the palms or only on the nails.

Nevertheless, this is not a stringent requirement for Muslim ladies.

However, a female who has immense love for Rasulullah SAW would also endeavour to emulate the illustrious Sahabiah RA - the ladies of his (SAW) Era.

Maintenance Of The Wife

At the outset, according to Shari'ah, it is not permissible for a female to work for no reason.

Before marriage, this responsibility lies upon her father. After marriage, the husband is responsible for her maintenance.

When a woman has a husband who is literally able to maintain her, then should not work. It is the sole responsibility of a husband to maintain his wife.

Maintenance includes, food, clothing and shelter.

It is incorrect for the husband to demand from the wife to execute the responsibility of maintenance which are actually his. If the husband has the means to maintain his wife and he does not do so, he will be sinful. Women who choose to to work and have their own income although there is no dire need for this are also responsible for their husband's negligence in maintaining them, and they too will sin.

When Women Emerge

No Muslim has the slightest iota of doubt in the fact that the Qur'an is absolutely infallible. How could it be otherwise when the Qur'an is the word of Allah Ta'ala who is All Knowing, All Seeing and the possessor of absolute and perfect wisdom. Every command of Allah Ta'ala is compatible with human nature and its adherence not only earns a person rewards in the hereafter, but is also vital to facilitate the smooth harmony of our existence on earth. No system or mode of life can ever be superior.

Allah Ta'ala, the Creator of men and women, the Eternal Being that blessed mankind with intellect and the One who created in human beings passions, emotions and desires, addresses His female slaves in His Glorious Qur'an with the following command:

"And remain firmly within your homes and display not yourselves like the display of the former times of ignorance."(Surah Al-Ahzaab; Verse 33)

This is the command of none other than our Creator, Allah the Most Wise. Hence by disregarding this command we will not only invite Allah's displeasure, but we will also have to suffer the terrible consequences of our violation in this world. It will be similar to the case where a person ignores the instructions of the manufacturer of a car and he fills water into the petrol tank and fills petrol into the radiator.


Absolute Necessity

Likewise Rasulullah SAW has restricted the emergence of women from the home to the situation of genuine necessity.

Abdullah ibn Umar RA reports that Rasulullah SAW said:

"A woman should not emerge from her home except if she is forced to do so." (Tabrani)

Also when emerging out of necessity, the woman is commanded to adopt full Hijaab. However in the present climate of women's lib and feminism which has risen from the decadent west, even Muslims of weak Imaan have found it appropriate to cast women out of their homes and into the outside world. Yet do we really know what goes on out there? The situation is indeed shocking to say the least.


Distribution of Work

Allah Ta'ala has given us the beautiful formula compatible with the differing natures of the genders. This is illustrated in the following practice of Rasulullah SAW. Rasulullah SAW had apportioned the work that pertains to matters outside the home (which includes earning for the family) to Saiyidina Ali RA. While the work pertaining to aspects inside the home were allotted to the Queen of Jannah, Fatimah RA.

Hence it is the man's duty to go out into the world and earn a Halaal living. Thus in a truly Islamic state where women are not found working "shoulder-to-shoulder" with men, the root cause of the illicit liaisons which take place in the working world will be non-existent.

However, when that ideal situation does not exist, the man who goes out to work must be extra cautious to protect himself.

Allah Ta'ala says:

"Say to the Believing men that they should lower their gazes." (Surah An-Nur: Verse 30)

Also the Hadith clearly states that:

"...no person should ever be in seclusion with a strange woman."

When these and other similar injunctions will be violated then, the obvious outcome will be involvement in grievous sins. The solution is thus to eliminate the cause, not to light the fire and then attempt to control it.

Indeed, we are living in difficult times. While numerous women venture out into the world merely to maintain a high standard of living, some venture out only to earn their mere daily bread. Hence if it is necessary, Islam has not forbidden a woman from earning. However, it is incumbent that All the laws of the Shari'ah be upheld. Among other aspects, of utmost importance is that she may not expose herself to non-Mahram males (men to whom marriage is permissible). She should also have sufficient time for her domestic activities and for the caring of her children. These must never be compromised.


Inclucating Deen

A woman has a great duty to discharge at home. The upbringing of her children require her full attention. Unfortunately, "upbringing" to a great extent has come to mean clothing, feeding and attending to the other physical necessities of the child. This is however, the necessary but less important part of upbringing. The more important part is the inculcating of Deen in the life of the child and embedding the correct morals, character and etiquette in that innocent soul. This is more than a full-time job. When mothers fulfilled this duty (obviously with the father also playing his role), many great scholars of Islam were produced e.g. Imam Razi RA, Imam Ghazali RA etc. The same is possible today - if we get our priorities in order. The job of tarbiyah to our children is not the responsibility what more job of a random maid or helper. To sacrifice the quality of upbringing only for a few cents extra, for a bigger house and a nicer car is not something intelligent to do. When Allah SWT has given us intelligence, we should use this intelligence. Do what we are commanded to do. And do what is the best.

May Allah Ta'ala give us the correct understanding of Deen and enable us to practice upon ALL His injunctions, Ameen.

Giving The Daughter Secular Education ?

Almighty Allah says in the Holy Qur'an:

"And (women) stay in your homes and don't display yourselves like the practice of the first Jahiliyah (pre-Islamic era." (Surah 33: Verse 33)

Rasulullah SAW said:

"A woman is an object of concealment. When she comes out; the Syaitaan accompanies her."(Mishkaat)

The above quotations clearly indicate that the place of a woman is at home. When she emerges out of the house, she becomes the tool of the Syaitaan to spread mischief and corruption. In these modern times, there is a worldwide campaign on recognition of women's rights, according to the democratic ideology which includes equality between men and women in earning, rank and position. Such a position for women in society breathes corruption and mischief. And the ghastly consequences such a position has already caused are clear as day-light for all those of true intelligence.

The harms of giving ones daughter secular education is great. It is not permissible to risk the honour of the daughter at the expense of securing her economic future. Looking at the dangers and harms in conventional schools, even the greatest worldly need cannot justify the reason for sending the daughter to a non-Islamic school.

The sustenance of every individual is the responsibility of Allah.

Allah says in the Qur'an:

"There is not a single creature on earth except that Allah Ta'ala has taken the responsibility of its sustenance." (Surah 11: Verse 6)

The Fuqahaa have explained that firstly the father has to support his daughter until marriage. Upon marriage, the husband has to support her. If the husband dies or divorces her, and she has elderly working sons, it is their responsibility to support her. If she does not have sons, then the father will have to support her again. If he is not in a position to support her then, her brothers and relatives should support her.

Islam has laid down principles to support a woman in every turn of her life. If any of the above does not materialise, she can even support herself by maintaining her honour and dignity by doing something from indoors.

She may do cooking, sewing, baking, etc. and sell. There are many avenues of income. The secular form of education is not the only way of earning an income. How many secular graduates are penniless due to unemployment and how many secularly uneducated women have regular income through private services?

Our concern should be to give our daughter good Islamic education, teach her to be a loyal wife and responsible mother. Teach her the life of simplicity and she may be taught of some skills like sewing, etc. could help her during a financial crisis.

In-Laws Presence

QUESTION:
Is it permissable for a husband to prevent his in-laws or any of his wife's relatives from entering his home if he believes that they will interfere in his marriage.

ANSWER:
The husband has a right to stop the wife's relatives from entering his home. That is to say, if he does so, then he will not be sinful. However, the husband should consider the negative consequences before preventing them. He should apply wisdom and diplomacy with his wife's relatives.

Muhrim Status Of Father-In-Law

The father-in-law is a Muhrim.

However, in the sick cultured society of this day and age, if there is a fear of illicit relationship between the father-in-law and daughter-in-law, then strict Hijab must be observed.

The Rights Of The Wife

While the religion of Islam propagates the loyalty of the wife to the husband, it also greatly emphasises on the rights of the wife. The Qur'an and Ahaadith are replete with such injunctions.

Surah An-Nisaa and Surah At-Talaaq of the Qur'an specifically discusses the rights of women. In the light of the Qur'anic injunctions and the Ahadith of Rasulullah SAW, the Muslim Jurists have outlined three basic rights of the wife:

1. Shelter
2. Food
3. Clothing

The above are the basic necessities of every living individual. However, since the domestic duties (nurturing of the children and caring for the husband) will occupy the wife fully, it is now Fardh and the sole responsibility of the husband to provide the wife with the above three necessities. Just as it is Fardh for the husband to read Solat and to fast, it is also Fardh to fulfill the rights of the wife. Just as it is a major sin to be negligent towards the rights in Solat and fasting in Ramadhan, so too it is a major sin to be negligent towards the rights of the wife. If a person treats the injunctions of Solat and fasting lightly, it leads to Kufr, so too if he treats the injunctions of the rights of the wife lightly.

Allah Ta'ala says in The Qur'an:

"And provide them shelter where you stay and do not harm to frustrate them." (Surah 65: Verse 6)

When a man divorces his wife, he must provide her shelter during her Iddat. Even when the marriage has deteriorated, the husband has to provide her shelter. How much more important it is upon him to fulfill the obligation during the normal marriage period. The verse clearly indicates that the husband must provide shelter for the wife. This is to protect her belongings and her privacy. However, the Jurists have mentioned that the financial situation of both partners must be taken into consideration in fulfilling her rights. In whatever case, the wife has the right of having a space for her own privacy i.e. a room. This is usually the room shared with the husband.

It is not permissible for any person of the house to enter her room without her consent. Not even in-laws and siblings without permission.

Every individual must fear Allah Ta'ala, understand his obligation and fulfill it accordingly. The husband will be answerable to Allah if he failed in carrying out his duty in fulfilling the rights of the wife.

Hijab & Niqab - Evidence From The Qur'an

Women throughout the world spend millions of Dollars on facial beauty. Companies manufacturing 'beauty' products make a colossal figure in sales. It would be nothing short saying that the products used on the face far exceed other products. This in itself proves that humans are particularly possessive of their looks - facial expression. People especially women take great pride and time in making up their faces.

Allah Ta'ala has placed the beauty of man and woman in the face. Perhaps the busiest part of the body is the face - used extensively in communication. The face communicates the person's mood and facial expressions and expresses the character and mannerism. Because so much of identification is assembled by the face, least to mention the beauty of women, Muslim women are required to hide away their beauty.

The hijab and veil forms part of their concealment.

The Noble Qur'an declares:

"Oh Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women so as not to be annoyed." (Surah Al-Ahzaab: Verse 59)

Furthermore, the Noble Qur'an declares in Surah An-Nur: Verse 31, that the believing women "should not display their beauty and ornamentation" except to their husbands and immediate family (Mahrams).

Allah Ta'ala says clearly that a woman's body should be covered by loose-fitting, non-transparent clothing so that the shape of her body is not revealed. The Hijab hides the beauty of the woman's form. No one can dispute that a woman's primary focus of beauty is her face. Therefore, if Allah Ta'ala places so much of emphasis on hiding the beauty of a woman's body, it's only logical that the centre of greater attraction - the face - should without a doubt also be covered.

Referring to the Wives RA of Rasulullah SAW, Allah SWT warns the men:

"And when you ask (His ladies) for anything you want, ask them from behind a curtain: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and theirs." (Surah Al-Ahzab: Verse 53)

If Allah Ta'ala expects the prophet's wives to be so guarded then surely none of the believing women can claim greater purity of heart and consequently exemption from the directive to hide their beauty.

Aishah RA says:

"(During Hajj in the state of Ihraam) when the male should walk in front of us while in the company of Rasulullah SAW, then we would drop our veils from the head over the face."

This Hadith emphatically shows the manner adopted by the honoured wives of Rasulullah SAW. They have exemplified an extremely dignified way of life for the women of the Ummah.