Have we ever pondered over the Khutbah which the Imaam recited to us before we enthusiastically uttered "I accept in marriage etc."
Let us discuss and shed some light over this contract which we ourselves have made party to, that is - "The Nikah Contract".
The Imam recited to three verses from the Noble Qur'an:
Surah An-Nisa: Verse 1O -
"Mankind Fear your guardian Lord who created you from a single soul, and He created from it its mate and from them He scattered many men and women."
Surah Al-Imran: Verse 102 -
"O Ye who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared and die not except in a state of Islam."
Surah Al-Ahzaab: Verse 70 -
"O Ye who believe. Fear Allah and make your utterances straight."
The common element in each of these verses is the Arabic word "Taqwa" (God-Consciousness / Fear of Allah).
In these verses we (the husbands) are reminded to fear Allah in the manner you treat the lady you are taking as your wife. There is no one to see the way you conduct yourself within your home. Let the fact and belief that Allah is watching guide you in your treatment of the woman you have made your wife by granting her the respect and dignity she deserves.
You have brought somebody's daughter into your own home. She left her family, her friends, close associates and in many cases even the town that she grew up in and she came to a strange environment just to share the rest of her life with you.
Was she handed over to you to be a target of your physical and verbal abuse?
The Prophet SAW is reported to have said in connection with the treatment of animals:
"Fear Allah in your treatment of these animals who cannot speak."
If this was his concern for the animals, how tremendously greater would his concern have been for humans; therefore, can we imagine what his reaction would have been to the wife battering that takes place nowadays?
What then are the most important ingredients of a happy marriage?
Allah Ta'ala says in Surah Rum: Verse 21:
"And from amongst His signs is that He created for you from amongst yourselves partners, that you may live in tranquility with them, and He has created love and mercy between you. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect."
It is this love and mercy that strengthens the bond of marriage. The ability to overlook each other's faults goes a long way in cementing the relationship.
Once a man came to Rasulullah SAW and said:
"'O Allah's Messenger, how many times should I forgive the wrongs of my slaves?"
The Prophet SAW replied:
"Forgive them seventy times a day."
If a worker is entitled to so much of compassion, what about our life-long companion?
Today, we are very courteous to our clients, appreciative to our colleagues and cheerful to our friends. Unfortunately this warmth is not extended tothe poor wife who is most deserving of this courtesy and charm.
The Prophet SAW is reported to have said:
"The most complete of believers in faith are those who are best in character. The best of you are those who are best to their wives." (Mishkaat)
Every person has shortcomings. It is therefore quite natural to find this in our partner. The Prophet SAW has advised us to take pleasure in the good and overlook the bad. Have you ever spared the thought that there may be so many habits which you possess that may be bringing grief to your wife? She may have been patiently bearing it not wanting to hurt your feelings. Let us go back and fulfil the demands of this contract.
TREAT OUR WIFE AS HOW WE WOULD LIKE OUR SON-IN-LAW TO TREAT OUR DAUGHTER.
Tuesday, 5 December 2006