Thursday, 4 January 2007

Be Good To Your Parents

“And your Lord has ordered that you worship none but Him, and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them a word but address them in terms of honour.”

“And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: 'My Lord! Bestow on them your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young'." (Surah 17: Ayat 23~24)

The most striking opening of an ayat, which starts with the obedience of Allah Ta'la and thereafter to be dutiful to your parents. This verse is clearly indicating towards the importance of obedience to the parents and fulfilling the orders laid by the Lord of the Universe Himself.
Through the light of the Hadith, we will learn the importance of being righteous and obedience to our parents and the punishments of disobeying the command of Allah Ta'ala.

The Prophet Muhammad SAW has said:

“The pleasure of the Lord is the pleasure of a parent, and the wrath of the Lord is the wrath of a parent.”

It is clear from this Hadith that in order to please Allah SWT, it is necessary that our parents are happy with us.


In one hadith, Taysalah ibn Mayyas RA said:

“I did certain things that I can only consider as major sins. When I mentioned this to ibn Umar (RA), he asked me what I had done, and he said that those are not major sins. Rather, he said 'The major sins which are nine in number'. One of the nine that ibn Umar (RA) mentioned was causing ones parents to shed tears because of ones disobedience.

Then Abdullah ibn Umar (RA) said to Taysalah ibn Mayyas (RA):

“Do you fear the Fire and desire to go to Paradise?”

Taysalah ibn Mayyas (RA) replied, “Yes, by Allah Ta'ala!”

Abdullah ibn Umar (RA) further asked:

“Are your parents still alive?”

Taysalah ibn Mayyas (RA) replied:

“Only my mother.”

Abdullah ibn Umar (RA) replied:

“By Allah, if you speak with her gently and give her food to eat, you will surely enter Paradise if you avoid these major sins.”


Abu Hurairah RA reported that once the Prophet SAW was asked to whom one should be good to. He (SAW) replied, “Your mother.” He (SAW) was asked the same question a second time, and he (SAW) replied, “Your mother.” He (SAW) was asked the same question a third time and he (SAW) replied,” Your mother.” He (SAW) was asked the same question a fourth time and he (SAW) replied,” Your father.”


Abdullah ibn Abbas RA said:

“Any Muslim whose father and mother are Muslims and who wakes every morning with the intention of doing right by them will have two doors opened for him/her in Paradise by Allah Ta'ala. If only one parent is alive, then one door (will be opened). If he/she angers a parent, Allah Ta'ala will not be pleased with him/her.

Then the Prophet (SAW) was asked:

“What if one's parents are unjust to him/her?”

He (SAW) answered:

“Even if they are unjust (one must act good to please ones parents)."


Abdullah ibn Amr said RA:

“A man went to the Prophet (SAW) to pledge his allegiance to him for the coming (from Makkah to Madinah). However, he left his parents crying.

The Prophet (SAW) told him:

"Go back to them and make them as happy as you have made them sad."

This man had come to the Prophet SAW to take an oath of allegiance on him on migrating; his intentions were auspicious and virtuous deeds. However, his parents did not agree to his separation, as migrating was not compulsory at that time. They became restless on the prospect of his journey and wept in sadness. When the Prophet SAW learnt of this, he instructed the man to return to his parents and make them laugh just as he had made them weep.

This indicates the merit and significance of kindness to love ones parents and being a sin to do something which causes sadness to parents and makes them weep. It is virtuous and rewarding to do what makes them happy and laugh.

Mu'adh RA reported that the Prophet Muhammad SAW said:

"Good news to those who are good to their parents, good will increase the length of their lives."


Abu Ja'far RA heard Abu Hurairah RA say that the Prophet SAW said:

"There is no doubt that three kinds of prayers will be answered: the prayer of the oppressed, the prayer of the traveller, and the prayers of the parents for their children."

Prayers of parents for their children will be accepted immediately whether it is a prayer in the favour of the children or against the children, so we must do our upmost best to keep our parents happy.

Certain people have included among whose supplication is definitely granted are those who treat their parents kindly.

Uwais Al-Qarni RA was a resident of Yemen. The Holy Prophet SAW called him the best of Tabieen (successors) and he (SAW) said, “Get him to pray for your forgiveness”.

He had embraced Islam at the time of the Prophet SAW but he could not present himself before the Prophet SAW because he looked after his mother and thus remained deprived of the honour of companionship. It is clear from the conduct of Uwais Qarni RA, that to be good and mindful to the parents is a very high ranking deed.

The Prophet SAW said:

"Uwais has his mother. He has treated her kindly. If Uwais claims (anything) on Allah Ta'ala then Allah Taa'la will surely let him have what he claims."

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